So Many Heartbeats
by theicemenace
Summary: John Sheppard has a revelation...


**A/N: **Thanks to ladygris for encouragement to write this story.

~Sandy

**So Many Heartbeats**

Cruising at sublight in the void outside of Earth's star system, the _Phoenix_ looked majestic with her shiny new hull and systems upgrades. She was also fully equipped with a full complement of state-of-the-art fresh-off-the-assembly line F302-Bs.

Not far away, at least in space, the _Daedalus_ kept pace. It too had been completely overhauled and filled with the same new "toys" as the newer ship, except that Daedalus still utilized the F302s.

At the moment, the ship captains, Lieutenant Colonel Kevin Marks and Colonel Steven Caldwell respectively, were conferring with Rodney McKay, John Sheppard, Cameron Mitchell and the pilots on the upcoming war games to see how the two space craft compared in a battle situation. The intensity in the room kept even the irrepressible John and Cam subdued.

When the meeting was over, John followed Rodney from the room headed for the 302 bay. Rodney was trying to reassure John, who would be flying one of the new ships, about the condition of the new ships. "All of the 302-Bs are in perfect working order. No glitches, no power failures, no viruses." Cam stopped at the lift only to have Rodney turn to frown at him. "Colonel Mitchell, you'll want to see this information too since you'll be piloting one as well."

"Yeah…no. I have a date with my pillow and a couple of m' grandma's award winnin' macaroons."

Rodney's eyes lit up. "Macaroons?"

John realized that his friend was getting sidetracked and moved to intervene. "Do _not_ feed him, Mitchell, or you'll never get rid of him…ever!"

"Oh, ha-ha-ha. Again with the joking."

Cam shook his head. "I don't mind sharin'. Grandma sends me so many, if I ate 'em all myself I'd never be able to get into my flight suit."

John huffed. "Fine! We'll have a snack _then_ we'll go to the bay."

Now Rodney was grinning. "Works for me."

Instead of the three men squeezing into Cam's quarters, John suggested they meet in the Mess Hall. A few minutes later, they'd forgotten about going to the fighter bay and spent the next couple of hours talking about anything but work.

~~O~~

Cam listened to and watched Rodney noticing the difference in him since he and Jennifer had gotten married though the change had begun before that. He'd asked Sheppard about it and received a one-word response, "Keller." The transformation was enough for Cam to consider not carrying a lemon with him when he knew Rodney would be around.

And to tell the truth, he kinda preferred this Rodney to the old one though he did miss teasing him. He thought about keeping it up just for laughs, but Rodney didn't react the same way. It was like telling a joke to someone who only spoke a little English. Most of the time he got a blank look or an almost polite chuckle though his eyes did stay on the lemon until it was out of sight again.

While retrieving the macaroons, Cam took the citrus fruit from his pocket and tossed it in the trash. With an ironic chuckle, he scooped up the tin filled with the sweet treats and went to join Sheppard and McKay.

**The Next Day**

**In Space**

"_Great job, boys and girls. Head on home_."

Colonel Caldwell's voice echoed in John's ear. He listened to the other pilots check in before responding. "Roger, _Daedalus_. Alpha-six-niner-niner coming in. Tell Cook to make us all hero sandwiches for dinner."

Amusement came through in the other man's voice. "_Will do, Colonel. __Daedalus__ out_."

With a snort, John clicked off and concentrated on flying the ship. He hung back to make sure everyone else had made it home before heading there himself. Over to his left he saw Mitchell's ship also hovering. "After you, Mitchell."

"_Thanks, Sheppard. See ya at dinner_."

"You bet. I'm hungry like…what do they call it where you come from?"

Cam chuckled. "_Hungry like a big dog_."

"That works. Save me a seat."

"_Will do. Mitchell out_."

John watched Mitchell's ship enter the hanger bay then made his approach. He tensed when the screen blinked, not sure if he'd actually seen it or it had been his imagination. After a few seconds of waiting for it to happen again, he shrugged and adjusted his flight path to line up with the bay doors.

Again the screen blinked only this time it went completely off, came back on then off again as did the rest of his systems. With no power, he couldn't alter his path, extend the landing gears or warn the _Daedalus_ crew what was happening. He knew Rodney was monitoring his approach and relied on him to sound the alarm.

Through the bay doors he could see the other pilots running for the safety of the interior bulkheads. John glimpsed the faces of Rodney and Cam just as the door slid shut. He was a pilot with a natural instinct for flying almost anything and used that ability now to keep from crashing against the hull of the _Daedalus_.

Seconds later, he was knocked unconscious when his ship slammed into the bay and skidded into several of the 302s cramming them up against the interior bulkheads. Sparks flew and the scrape of metal would've made him cringe if he'd been able to hear it. He came to a screeching stop amidst a pile of debris that used to be ships.

~~O~~

"_Sheppard, this is Caldwell. Come in. Colonel Sheppard, please respond._"

There was no answer though Caldwell made the request several more times while Rodney, still standing beside Cam outside the hangar, waited impatiently for the crew to seal the outer doors so they could rescue John. His face was a mask of worry for his friend, the computer still clutched in his hands but mostly forgotten.

As soon as the hatch opened, he shot between them in his haste to see the crash first-hand, Cam behind him. When it came into sight, a twisted heap of metal alloy, he and Cam spoke at the same time. "Oh, CRAP!

~~O~~

John awoke to the sounds of the Infirmary. Blinking in the dim lighting, he raised his hand to the side of his head where he found a lump that was tender to the tough. When he tried to move, a twinge of pain in his abdomen made him think better of trying than maneuver again. Other aches and pains spasmed in sympathy making him moan. He ran his tongue around the inside of his mouth then along his lips. From past experiences, he guessed that he'd been out at least twelve hours. Maybe more.

"'Bout time you woke up, Sheppard. I was gettin' bored watchin' you sleep."

With a groan, John opened his eyes to see Cam standing beside his bed. "I'll try t' do better next time. Where's…"

"Your team's been in and out. Right now, Ronon's in the hangar bay with McKay glarin' at the maintenance crew as they try to figure out what caused the crash. Teyla's in her quarters. Probably meditatin'."

Though Cam grinned, John could still see the worry in his eyes. "Maintenance should be worried about McKay than Ronon. McKay has a tendency to get annoyed when he thinks they're not workin' fast enough." He could hear the slur in his words, courtesy of the morphine coming to him via the I.V. As much as he liked the euphoric feeling, he needed his head to be clear, but to do that he would have to call the doctor and he really didn't have the strength to spare at the moment.

"Doc says you're gonna be okay in a couple of weeks."

"No offense to the ship's doc, but I'd rather hear that from Keller."

Cam waved a hand. "She's been your doc for a while now. He'll understand." Looking down at his feet, he shoved both hands in his pockets. "Ya know, seein' your crash made me relive mine. I came back when the docs told me I'd likely never walk again. And I know this'll sound coldhearted and insensitive, but I'm sorta glad it was _you_ and not _me_. Don't know if I'd've been able to handle another one. Physically or mentally."

John snorted. "Got it. And no problem."

They were silent for a while until Cam finally looked John in the eye. "Somethin' my grandpa once told me comes to mind."

"What's that?"

"We forget that we only have so many heartbeats."

Nodding, John agreed. "Yeah."

The two men turned at the sound of a woman's voice.

"Am I intruding?" Teyla stood in the doorway, a smile on her beautiful face that didn't reach her eyes.

Cam looked from one to the other sensing his presence was no longer necessary. "No. I was just leavin'. Remember what I said."

Teyla watched Cam leave then moved to John's bedside. "How are you feeling, John?"

"Not great." He patted the bed in invitation. A little surprised, she rested her hip next to his and waited. "This crash reminded me of something that's been on my mind for a while."

"And what is that?"

She inhaled sharply when John took her hand entwining their fingers. "You."

**End**

**A/N:** The idea for this one-shot came from an unusual source. I was in the elevator going to my RL job with a man and a woman talking about the death of Davy Jones on February 29th. The man, about my age or a little older, said that when he was in the Air Force, after a crash, they'd have a meeting to discuss why the crash happened and what could be done to prevent it. One pilot, who had miraculously escaped unscathed, told his colleagues, "We forget that we only have so many heartbeats." The man and woman got out on the second floor before I could ask his name.

To that unknown man, thank you for the "gift" of this story.

~Sandy


End file.
